Empowerment. Leadership. Courage. Strength.
These are all words that some may associate with a mentor they've had in their life, a teacher, a manager, a parent. These words, and moreover, concepts, are also imprinted on young soldiers when they enter the military through rigorous schooling, training, and ultimately experiences.
Mike Durband was once one of those young soldiers. Now retired, he spent 25 years as a pilot in the United States Air Force, and ultimately went on to lead hundreds of individuals as a commander in his final years in the military. Equally important, Mike is the father to two daughters, which he raised simultaneously while mentoring these soldiers. The cores of his fatherhood and military leadership were both deeply rooted in empowerment.
So, we asked Mike about his thoughts on empowerment, both with others and with himself.
What does empowerment mean to you?
Empowerment to me is providing somebody the intended goal and the tools needed to accomplish that goal, then stepping back and let them get after it. The critical part of empowerment is offering someone the freedom to succeed or failwithin their area of work. A good leader can empower their team without sacrificing the overall mission with proper and well-timed interaction.
What is the biggest lesson you learned about empowerment as a leader in the military?
Success is obviously everyone’s goal, but the freedom to fail is a larger part of empowerment than individual success. People need to know that failure, although not the goal, is not necessarily bad. Again, a good leader will use their own tools to prevent a temporary individual area letdown to drive the failure of the entire project. When a leader is asking their team to “think outside the box” or “expand their horizons”, the team needs to understand that they have room for trial and error. Failure is a key part of innovation.
What is the biggest lesson you learned about empowerment as a father to two millennial daughters?
As pivotal as creating space for innovation through trial and error is to team dynamics, that very freedom in their personal life is critical for young people to grow and learn. Fear of failure can be paralyzing, especially for young adults just trying to “fit in”. Watching kids…or your daughters…go through the tribulations that life presents is very difficult for parents. No mother or father ever wants to see their child in distress. But allowing kids to explore their world, with the knowing that they have the ability to get some things wrong, return to an unconditional home (maybe with some passing of life lessons learned), only to continue to put themselves out into the world is empowering. I know it is cliché, but failure builds character.
How do you empower others – either professionally or in your personal life?
As a leader, don’t sweat the little things. We all handle things differently and have varying abilities in response to life’s challenges. Give folks a common goal and the tools for success and let them tackle it as they see fit. You might just be surprised at their skills and approach to issues at hand.
Who or what is your biggest source of empowerment?
Those people in your immediate sphere of influence are the biggest source of an individual’s empowerment. That can be a spouse, partner, co-worker or friend. Obviously for me that has been my family. We have faced a multitude of challenges as a transient military family, but we’ve always faced life together.
Full disclosure, Mike Durband is 100% a Clary Dad. His favorite Clary product is the All Purpose Balm (see: dry pilot skin). He says that when piloting planes for a major airline the pressurized air is so dry. He also uses Clary Balm when he runs in the cities he flies into (see: chapped lips). Being older, Mike says he is more conscious of using natural, organic skincare products (see: Clary Collection!). Mike always take his Clary All Purpose Balm on the road and in the sky.
Leave a comment